In the Soil of Pain and Shame

CONSECRATION Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.  Jesus, I belong to you. I lift up my heart to you. I set my mind on you. I fix my eyes on you. I offer my body to you as a living sacrifice. Jesus, we belong to you.  Praying in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, amen.  SCRIPTURE Luke 1:5–7, 11–22 NIV In the time of Herod king of Judea there was a priest named Zechariah, who belonged to the priestly division of Abijah; his wife Elizabeth was also a descendant of Aaron. Both of them were righteous in the sight of God, observing all the Lord’s commands and decrees blamelessly. But they were childless because Elizabeth was not able to conceive, and they were both very old. . . . Then an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing at the right side of the altar of incense. When Zechariah saw him, he was startled and was gripped with fear. But the angel said to him: “Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to call him John. He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He is never to take wine or other fermented drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even before he is born. He will bring back many of the people of Israel to the Lord their God. And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the parents to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.” Zechariah asked the angel, “How can I be sure of this? I am an old man and my wife is well along in years.” The angel said to him, “I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and to tell you this good news. And now you will be silent and not able to speak until the day this happens, because you did not believe my words, which will come true at their appointed time.” Meanwhile, the people were waiting for Zechariah and wondering why he stayed so long in the temple. When he came out, he could not speak to them. They realized he had seen a vision in the temple, for he kept making signs to them but remained unable to speak. CONSIDER THIS Zechariah isn’t exactly the character you’d want to be cast in the Christmas play. He’s definitely not the hero of the story, and is a complex supporting role. In the face of an angel showing up to tell him that the prayer he has likely been praying for decades has been heard, he responds: “How can I be sure of this?” (v. 18). Looking at Zechariah’s situation, I empathize with his question. This question comes from a place of pain—a wound developed over years of not being able to conceive. As a spiritual leader and elder in the community, Zechariah and his wife were the modern-day equivalent of a couple who “would have made such great parents.” In an effort to explain why they had not been able to have a child, it was likely assumed by the community that something was wrong with one of them; sin or something of the sort caused God to withhold the experience of parenthood. In the soil of pain and shame, Zechariah’s demand for certainty grew, yielding the fruit of unbelief when met with the promise of God. The question isn’t just one of unbelief, but a grab for control in an area in which he had never experienced it. In her book The Cost of Control, Sharon Miller suggests: “behind every struggle for control is a hurting person searching for peace in a chaotic world.”1 The need to know cost Zechariah the joy that came from the answer to the seemingly unheard prayers of him and his wife and the peace that comes from trusting God and believing His word. His own certainty that this would happen became central over the word of God spoken through Gabriel. His question differs from Mary’s in that it does not assume this will happen. Mary asked, “How will this be?” (v. 34). Zechariah asked, “How can I be sure?” (v. 18). Mary’s question modeled agency and faith, Zechariah’s was one of control and unbelief. As a result, the angel declares: “Now you will be silent and not able to speak until the day this happens, because you did not believe my words, which will come true at their appointed time” (v. 20). This chapter of the redemption story is reminiscent of a much earlier one. We’ve seen this situation before: A couple who had been unable to conceive receives a word from God in their old age, promising a child that would not only be the answer to their prayers, but play a huge part in the grander narrative of redemption. I’m talking about Abraham and Sarah. To make a long story short, Abraham initially believed God’s promise, but he and Sarah took things into their own hands. Instead of conceiving a child with his wife, Abraham slept with her slave, Hagar (as Sarah suggested), and had a son named Ishmael. Messy. When God circles back to Abraham (who was at the ripe age of one hundred) and says that actually this child will come through Sarah (who was ninety) and is to be called Isaac, Abraham falls down, laughs in God’s face, and essentially asks for Ishmael to be blessed instead. Not exactly a response of faith. As I sit with these two stories side by side, I can’t help but wonder why Zechariah was silenced. Was his silence a punishment? Doesn’t it seem a bit harsh, considering what Abraham did? Instead of seeing this as a punishment from God, I wonder if Zechariah’s silence is actually better seen as a grace that did a couple of things: It prevented him from trying to expedite the promise of God and producing something out of his own control (like Ishmael) and confirmed the words spoken by the angel were true. It was in the silence that God began to heal wounds from decades of unmet longing for a child. It was in the silence that God revealed Himself and the trustworthiness of His word. And it was in the silence that the embers of faith were stoked in Zechariah, yielding the fruit of prophetic praise and worship, which we’ll read together tomorrow. RESPONSE PROMPTS When prayers seem unanswered for a long time, what emotions or thoughts tend to surface in your heart? How have these experiences shaped your view of God or your faith journey over time? Zechariah’s reaction reflects both doubt and a desire for control. Have you ever found yourself in a similar place? How did it impact your trust in God’s promises, and what helped you move forward? PRAYER God, thank You for Your direction in my life, even when it feels like disappointment or delay. Though I don’t like to admit it, I relate to Zechariah’s need for control, doubt, and even unbelief. I ask that You replace these things in me with trust in You and Your goodness, and with faith in Your promises. Amen.